3. The natural consent abuses within the intimate relationships
3.3. The abuses of histrionic-like seductive behavior
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The seductive behavior of the histrionic-like type is the next step of the abuses of the natural consent in the couple, downwards on the social scale. They were launched from the beginning of the classical society (based on the conquest war) by the top of the social pyramid on the sexual targets in the lower social layers. The difference between these abuses reflects the difference between the social classes to which they are connected to. As we saw in the previous article , the forced polygamy and disguised prostitution bring significant material gains. The person who practices disguised prostitution ceases the act of seduction and stays in the relationship until a greater opportunity arises. It becomes a decent monogamous person after she gets married, according to its social ascension desire. Only when the opportunity for bigger material benefit in another relationship arises does, then it responds to the wealthier partner sexual advances.
On the contrary, the seductive behavior of the steroid type is rather a self-suggestive-psychopathological play. Among the criteria presented by DSM V for the "Histrionic personality disorder" 301.50 (F60.4) the numbers 2, 5 and 8 are relevant, namely:
“(2) Seductive or provocative behavior
(4) Uses appearance to draw attention
(8) Considers relationships more intimate than they are”
DSM IV TR had more explicit criteria from the same numbers 2, 4 and 8, so I quote them too so people that are not used to histrionic simptomatology will understand it better
" (2) interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior
(4) consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self
(8) considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are
The histrionic person is generally a seducer. Whether male or female, the histrionics seduce around and wait for the love flow to come from the "source", without engaging in building couple relationship with the "victim". Very important in the case law are some defining characteristics of hysteria, namely the theatrical behavior, the simulation or the bovarism, as can be seen starting from the page 292 of this book.
People in this category are not primarily interested in material gains, though they would not refuse it. For this reason, if the histrionic like persons enter into a couple relationship, its partner is necessarily a member of a higher class. If the histrionic is also a physically attractive person, then it could temporary practice the disguised prostitution. But the difference with the disguised prostitute relies on the fact that it does not put the material gain on the foreground, but the very act of seduction, which manifests almost instinctively, unconsciously. These people constantly continue their seductive behavior towards entourage even after marriage and even if they do not have the prospect of entering into a more materially beneficial relationship. Unlike the disguised prostitute, the seductive histrionic does not have the intelligence or emotional readiness to stop seducing other members of the entourage, which eventually may affect their marriage.
Through the seduction behavior, the histrionic becomes drunk with the illusion of belonging to higher elite, which he understands as emotionally abusive towards others. It does not practice the above abuses because of lacking the experience of social life itself, and does not possess the specific tools to practice it. Its social origin relies on the medium or modest layer of the social pyramid scale. Its dominance over others is lived by on the symbolic, illusory level. This illusion is far more important to her/him than putting into practice these interests, on the opposite to the forced polygamous person from the top of the social pyramid or those who practice disguised prostitution. The histrionic sees the seduction as an act of power over the seduced one. The availability of satisfying the desires of the love partner is perceived as a specific weakness at a lower level of the social pyramid scale.
Although they theatrically mimic the affection for the own entourage or the "high circles" members, the histrionics do not fall in love precisely out of this visceral fear of social inferiority, by which the affection is equivalent to the weakness. If a member of the entourage is indifferent to its "charms," then the histrionic, whether male or female, might develop anger or hostility toward that person. (This is why the histrionic is often mistaken by common people with the explosive personality disorder.) The explanation of such behavior lies exactly in the refusal to accept the seductive submission from the indifferent person. The histrionic person seductive power confirms at the symbolic level the Bovarist belonging to a higher social class. It perceives the entourage refusal of seduction as the refusal to accept its high class status.
When any member of the entourage is caught in its charms nets, the histrionic person responds with superior, arrogant and contemptuous attitude. Its rejection is not indifference, but domination, according to its mentality of equating the seduction with the power. As I mentioned above, this behavior is meant to confer on the self-delusional level the social superiority status. These persons actually pursue a certain autoerotic social position reflected in the potential partner. If the "victim" enters into another relationship, after a certain period, then it is perceived by the histrionic person as a traitor and detractor, worthy of being severely punished. As in the case of the seduction immunity, the one who points to another partner after being rejected is treated with hostility after its interest has ceased. These people are perceived by histrionic as contestants of the illusory social status that nourishes their Bovarism.
Whether woman or man, the histrionic likes negativism. Both strangely live the satisfaction of "yes" through "no", and of "no" through "yes". The histrionic men leave the woman they simulate a love relationship with precisely because they have this bizarre satisfaction with the feeling of staying together through a new conquest. They are Casanova. The histrionic women have this satisfaction before they reach a couple relationships. Both the histrionic woman and man paradoxically suck up the satisfaction from the suffering of the departed or rejected partner.
Further on I will detail these general characteristics applied to the particularities of each genre.
The Casanova men (pick up artists) are those histrionics who are physically attractive, machos. Almost all of them practice body-building exercises, not so much for health as for keeping themselves "fit" for seduction. Like the histrionic woman, the Casanova man is also not interested in building a stable long-term couple relationship, but in seduction and subsequent abandonment. The sexual engagement with as many women as possible is a major goal of his life. The Casanova man sees the woman only as a trophy, and eventually will leave her for another woman just because this is another, after a period of simulated couple relationship. He just wants to have fun and change women like clothes. By such behavior, these men illusively reinforce their self-esteem, experiencing the feeling of being an alpha male with access to the related female group, as is the case with certain animals. Such behavior corrupts the idea of intimacy in favor of the illusion of a consumerist pop star or VIP, that can have every partner may wish, as I have shown in the previous article about the forced polygamy .
These two types of abuse psychic mechanisms are almost identical. The difference relies in the better socially position for the forced polygamy abuser who can afford gifts to obtain the victim's natural consent, while the Casanova one rarely makes gifts due to his inferior social position. The undeclared polygamous man wants to simulate a temporary family without an official one, and the Casanova man wants to seduce as much women as possible and have sex with them. The polygamous man does not want quantity, like Casanova, but quality. He only chooses a woman because she seems very special to him, and then he begins to draw her into a relationship.
Through his continued conquests, the Casanova man maintains the illusion of belonging to social elite, such as the rich polygamous man or the world’s richest men that can have any woman they wish. The more the conquered woman is more beautiful and better socially positioned, the more credible is the self-delusion that he would be a god on earth. Of course, this has a very negative emotional impact on the woman cheated or abandoned for a new catch.
If he is smart also and knows how to temper himself with seductive poses, the Casanova man can become an affective shark who practices disguised prostitution, a manager or a politician. If he is not smart, then he can become an artist with greater or lesser success in the public; the seductive behavior comes as a glove over this profession.
The histrionic women consume their eroticism in the flirtation area, without advancing to sexual relationship, as opposed to the erotic histrionic man (Casanova). They just want to seduce only and not reach the couple status or physical contact. They do not like to move forward in a relationship, and when they do, they are not happy in it. These women accept to become spouses especially for the high social status husband. Like the Casanova man, they can even get from time to time into disguised prostitution, when the material gains are very consistent. They don't like normal sex life but can accept it as a compromise in marriage or in temporary relationships. The seductive histrionic woman is an anti-Casnova probably because of the feminine resistance to male advances traditional culture. If educated, the histrionic women may adopt a feminist mentality, sometimes with extremist excesses. (The opposite is not valid - not every feminist is also a histrionic person) But, just like the Casanova man, who has the paradoxical satisfaction of remaining in a relationship after leaving, the histrionic woman paradoxically experiences the feeling of advancement in a couple's relationship by rejecting anyone’s advances. Due to the fact that they look like saints, sometimes many men fall in love with them and waste their wealth trying to get their attention. Their refusal is paradoxical and constantly doubled by their concern for showing the best and provoking the most intense passions and sufferings.
The histrionic exhibitionist abuses
A very special case of histrionic-like behavior is made by the exhibitionist libidinal conformation persons. It consists in the libidinal satisfaction of publicly exposing the primary or secondary sexual anatomical parts in front of unknown persons. Both men and women with such behavior have the bizarre libidinal satisfaction of the victim's shock. Neither men nor women exhibitionists are interested in sexual relations with their victims. If such an exhibitionistic behavior man attracts a woman, and she show signs of interest, then he simply gets away, avoiding the relationship *.
In the same way, the exhibitionist women will not have sex with the men they want to shock. They are provocative by definition. They do not want to enter into a relationship, but only to provocatively remain at this stage of seduction before the physical contact. Basically their "sexual" life is based on the psychic abuse. They are addicted to it like a drug addict person. The man who does not respond to the histrionic woman charms is the biggest enemy of her "sex life" lived purely on flirtation. From this feature her explosive reactions of anger were equated with common language with hysteria. The exhibitionist women do not behave like exhibitionist men especially because of the risk of being raped. Because of this, most of them are focused supporters of exclusively female initiation of intimate relationships, and even advocate for incriminating as sexual harassers the men who initiate first contact with an unknown woman by compliment or greet. In order to manifest themselves freely, they need a protective framework such as sexy clubs, theaters or other institutions. Sometimes they work in the adult film industry, but they have more erotic satisfaction from the film crew that look from outside than from what their partner does with them in the scene.
In civilized countries, the female exhibitionism has been paradoxically used to reinvigorate the worn out couple relationships for the upper classes members but also to provoke an emotional imbalance to those in the lower classes, according to the interest I have detailed here. The marriage is a specific compromise to the traditional society between the sexes social development tendencies. No matter how successful and how welded a couple might be, it will invariably go through certain worn out crises. They particularly come after the female libido turns in motherhood. Then, they also appear due to the instinctual-ancestral male sexuality intention to experience sexual relations with other partners, which creates insecurity for the wife. Some men do not feel well in the couple and get divorced in order to get involved in another relationship. Others practice disguised polygamy. But most of them use the flirtation as a symbolic, illusory marital escape, not actually putting it into practice, with the maintenance of official marriage.
That is why the flirtation and/or even the exhibitionist behavior were encouraged by the Western culture. The women felt so free to dress as provocatively and attractively, to the delight of the audience. Thus it was created, at the symbolic level, the satisfaction of a reunion, without the couple official relationship to be affected. The sight of a dressed up briefly woman or the flirtation with an officially married person had psycho-aphrodisiac role for these worn down couple, thus avoiding the problems of real divorce and remarriage. Such behavior of showing the female intimate body parts thus strengthens traditional monogamous couples in the modern Western culture through the illusory polygamous satisfaction. Thus the official couple members lived the satisfaction of reinventing themselves. So this behavior has a welding role for worn down marriages.
The legislation has become more and more permissive in meeting these couples need to refresh, after decreasing the members appetite for each other. After all, it was previously created and still is used and controlled by those who have gone through these couple experiences. It as meant to protect the exhibitionist woman as much as possible from the possible abuses, such as sexual harassment or rape, although at this point got things out of control, as I showed in the previous article .
Starting from this mentality, the feminine hysteria has also passed to another level, getting close to the nowadays sexual exhibitionism. In the nineteenth and early twentieth century the hysteria had a Victorian allure, "spiritually" seducing. On the contrary, with the legal protection of the late twentieth century and the beginning of the twenty-first century, it became very physically seductive. For this reason, in the criteria of histrionic behavior, the sexual seduction has become increasingly visible in successive editions of the DSM. However, the hysterical behavior remained the same in some respects: for example the nowadays histrionic woman will also reject a man for building a couple, if he has the same social stage. And if the histrionic woman adheres to feminism, then she can also provoke scandal, accusing the man of sexual harassment, although he approached her peacefully. (Although approaching women through vulgar attitude or verbal and physical violence is a normal excuse for responding aggressive). As in the past, if the social status of the approaching man is not high enough, or if he does not come with a much more refined behavioral "label" than that of the class she belongs to, the histrionic woman does not consent to these insistences, but still behaves sexually and emotionally provocatively.
This exhibitionist mentality has been loudly asserted by the 1990s feminism. Basically, the feminism’s relation evolution with the sexuality repeats the evolution of hysteria itself. If the 1960s feminism was a neo-puritanism, as was the post-Victorian hysteria, on the contrary, in the 1990s there were voices within feminism that assumed very vocal and sometimes vulgar sexuality.
Such an attitude is called „“The Bitch Philosophy...”” manifested by Elizabeth Wurtzel:
“I intend to scream, shout, race the engine, call when I feel like it, throw tantrums in Bloomingdale's if I feel like it and confess intimate details about my life to complete strangers. I intend to do what I want to do and be whom I want to be and answer only to myself: that is, quite simply, the bitch philosophy...”
Although they assume their "whoredom" with nonchalance and their availability for paid sexual services, yet these women rarely practice prostitution. As I have shown above, a substantial offer is required from a claimant to accept selling their emotions and body. But they are not at all street prostitutes like those known. These women have higher education, graduated at prestigious universities. They can easily get decent jobs in society, and that is why they do not need to practice prostitution to survive. Sometimes they use these attitudes to defend the rights of prostitutes and are even militant for human rights and sexual minorities. However, many times this behavior is driven by the need for this protected by legislation exhibitionism under the reasons stated above. If the male exhibitionist gets away when a woman accepts his "advances", on the contrary, the female exhibitionist calls for legislation if any suitor tries to approach her. Hence their vehement activism to prosecute the man greeting and complimenting to an unknown woman as sexual harassment, which I will describe in details on in the next article in this series.
Of course, the legislation does not actually work in all social groups. Thus, the hysterical exhibitionism manifests only in the high layers of society, as in art. Artists such as Judy Chicago in the 1970s exhibited their bodies in enclosed, protected spaces performances. The photographs and filmed footages were lately exposed in public spaces. Sometimes a small audience was invited to the artistic action. In 2010 the exhibitionism went further, practiced in front of a wider but still highly educated audience. Artists like Ruth Vigueras Bravo, Deborah de Robertis, Milo Moiré and others after them, exhibited their genital organs and masturbated in public spaces performances.
Although an educated audience was passing through, belonging to a social level that usually does not practice rape, yet anyone could have access to such spaces. Fortunately, these events were attended by an educated audience only, so the abuse was eclipsed by the unprecedented situation. In the art world, the naked body, whether male or female, is not a scandal. The artists have worked with the nude since the ancient times. Most contemporary artists have classical studies, which made them very early acquainted with the naked human body. But if these artistic actions were implemented in a non-artistic, street environment, they would become abuses against the common man. For the average man, raised in a socially disadvantaged environment, with family communication problems, such erotic seduction followed by the categorical refusal to his approaching attempt is an abuse made by woman too. We will see later in this text that too explicit an approach of the man in the public space for a woman is an abuse , as the general feminism argues. But the too-explicit bodily exposure for uneducated men is also an abuse. The naked exposure of the female body has experimentally certified consequences in human male sexuality, as the specific olfactory signals of females have in animal male sexuality. Such exhibitionist behavior done by the above mentioned "philosophy" followers causes sexual arousal to men and subsequent frustration if it does not naturally discharge into specific sexual behavior. I have shown above that such over-excitement tides up the worn down couples. Those who belong in a couple relationship with another woman can positively neutralize this drive revival with her. But those who do not have such a relationship get frustrated.
The general sexual and emotional life of the social base members is very disturbed. These people are victims of society. Paradoxically, they have the strongest libido, as I described here. There is causal conditioning between the trauma and the libido intensity. In these articles I have referred several times to the experiments of the painful shocks applied to rats (Miller, Neal E.), and monkeys (Robert A. Hinde). After these shocks the subjects developed the consumption needs increasing, such as the food or the sexual needs. As a result of specific bigger or smaller pressures , at the base of the population at the base of the social pyramid, many men go through the same trauma as the animal subjects in the above experiments. The result is a directly proportional libido intensity increasing for men. On the contrary, this most often lead to libidinal flattening for women. Thus we have the anachronistic situations in couples, with the hypersexual man in relation to the partner. For this reason, at the social pyramid base, the big couple problems cases abound much more than the worn down ones from the middle or even its top. Many lower parts of society married couples live in glacial or even constant hostility atmosphere, with domestic violence and other horrors. So many women at the social pyramid bottom decide to live alone, without a partner.
Here, exhibiting the female shapes in front of these people is a challenge. For both the couple incompatibilities man but also for the one that lacks a partner, such female forms exposure causes frustration. The “My Body is Mine” ideology which can be the same with "is my body and I do what I want with it" has a perfect justification in the debate on abortion and the contraception use **.
In some countries such as Romania in the dictatorial period, this personal decision was abused by prohibiting the women access to medical services for pregnancy interruption or contraceptive means.
But they come with a potential abuse that, as we see, women can also do to men. The exclusively female initiation of the intimate relationship supported by the feminism could end the discomfort that certain very beautiful women feel after being constantly disturbed by the men approaches. But here, such a measure could increase the exhibitionists abuse towards these marginal groups. That will send the abuse to the other extreme. It will create an artificial psychodynamic inhibition by artificially provoking desires that do not reflect the environmental conditions. The histrionic exhibitionists felt that they could go even further with this seductive abuse of the marginal men, under the good intention disguise. The feminist discourse comes as a glove over these two particularities of histrionic personality. And indeed some socially disadvantaged men respond themselves abusively, through the behaviors I described in this article . Of course, these abuses of response cannot be tolerated or excused. But, because the women initially seduced them, however, they themselves are originally abusive.
The female exhibitionism has a ventilation role of the worn down couples. But, as with exhibitionist artists, they must be somehow channeled to these couples, and isolated from disadvantaged or conservative communities. In the following video, at the 34 seconds, we see such a woman dressed in very tight pants walking through poor urban areas:
I support most of what is said in this video. The feminist theory that the society is made under the emotional abusers and rapists interests is fully right, as I said here . The woman from this video is not an exhibitionist, at least not one like the ones described above. This experiment was done not for exhibitionistic reasons, but for purely sociological ones, to show the men status in these social environments, although it was not necessary. The delinquency in these areas is known. But what has happened since the second 34 is an abuse initiated by that woman this time. This can lead to dubious behavior from men. Everyone knows that the disadvantaged areas are dangerous. Whatever the reason, such a walk in tight pants, letting the rounded shapes visible, is a challenge for this kind of environment.
The feminist condemnation of the misogynistic rhetoric of blaming the victim for sexual harassment and rape is fully justified. But in these cases of exhibitionism, whether moderate or not, I think the blame must be shared. If you as a woman go into an underprivileged neighborhood dressed provocative to show the men out there are not good enough for you, then you have also caused the crime of falling victim. I repeat: I do not exclusively accuse the woman, as victim blamers do, but I also do not exclusively accuse the man, as some feminists do; if an abuse happens like those too explicit messages, then the both sides are to blame.
The exhibitionism encouragement has led to the revival of the upper classes worn down couples. But its extension to the lower classes is a disaster. Basically, it creates an abuse that is quite similar to the sexual harassment I analyzed in the article linked above. I have pointed out there that inter-institutional sexual harassment is a particular case of the powerful social system unnaturally obtaining consent for something the victim would not naturally consent to. The non-institutional sexual harasser obtains the consent for sexual relations by blackmail, as the state itself (social privileged ones) obtains consent for the numerous abuses it commits. But in this case we have to deal with the same kind of abuse only it is inversed. This does not mean that a man who harasses or rapes an exhibitionist woman is innocent. But he is not the only one guilty for such crimes. Therefore, just like the exhibitionist artist who acted at the museum educated space only, also the upper classes worn down couples exhibitionists must act in the upper classes areas.
I have seen contradictory attitudes from the sex-eccentric feminists who openly claim that they are floozy. However, they not apply this rule to protect oneself and others, typical histrionic. Although they claim to be "bitch", they want to punish / forbid the "perverse" man attitude that approach them on the street. Here we see a double standard of being brave out of their own perversity but condemning it on the others.
In addition to the worn down couples ventilation, the female exhibitionism is tolerated precisely for this abuse on the marginal groups. The half naked women in real life, movies or commercials are psychically pressuring them to step up their game, take a better paid job to buy an item to impress the disguised prostitute woman or the arrogant exhibitionist one who feels the satisfaction of an autistic orgasm in shocking the emotional weak ones. This is the society itself profile. For now, the society has no interest in recognizing this abuse, because that would mean recognizing these people abusive nature. Nothing is said about the ads misleading and manipulative messages. They are not recognized as abusive either. Basically the world economy works through this propaganda of artificially stimulated advertising consumption. Agreeing that the female exhibitionism towards the socially disadvantaged is an abuse would be equivalent to the recognition the advertising as an abuse and also that of the slavery modified in apparently free trade. That would reduce the corporations’ profit. Such exhibitionists’ liberty to extract libidinal satisfaction from the certain social outcasts "salivation" undermines their freedom. The advertising that lures them towards overconsumption does the same.
So, the exhibitionist women are a double-edged sword. Their vehemence makes us see beyond this thin layer of the abuses they claim. They direct our attention to these dubious underlings of our society that we believed to be honest. And, above all, it makes us think of ourselves, who directly or indirectly support it. The greater their efficiency in causing imbalances and "getting someone out of its comfort zone" those who have to be brought into the servants position, the more they themselves can see beyond this abuses iceberg top, namely the sexual and emotional abuses. I foresee that in the future the feminists in general will rally into the human rights activists, so that the system very creation will turn against itself.
The exclusively female initiation of intimate relationships was not imposed by the exhibitionists. They have come to identify with this moral revolution due to the tempestuousness in implementing this norm in the legislation. But the traditional society itself had certain rules for limiting the men liberties who initiate courtship to a woman. Unfortunately, these rules have faded away once with the contemporary lifestyle. So the solution of the exclusively feminine initiation of intimate relationships, proposed by the feminism, has come to cover this void. And here a serious public debate is needed, to replace those outdated rules with new ones before things degenerate. At the pressure from the exhibitionists, disguised prostitutes, lesbians and eccentric sexual behavior women, the moderate feminists tend to accept the legislative incrimination of this traditional man behavior of initiating closeness to a woman. In the above video at the 01.45 minute, we notice that such a feminist woman wants the verbal comment, compliment or insistent look to be considered as "sexual harassment". About the moral and legal justification of such an intention I will analyze in the next chapter
* There must be made the distinction between the proper exhibitionist and the rapist who initially tries to seduce by his “genital qualities”. So exposing the intimate parts in front of a woman is not a certainty that that man will run away if the woman pays attention. Usually the exhibitionist manifests in the area predominantly frequented by women, while the rapist prefers deserted areas to not get caught, but this criterion is not 100% sure.
** Many ideological pressures have been put on women to give birth to more children. The more children a family has, the more some of them will have to work hard for a home, which will make them more profitable for the new masters . Beyond the not very possible moral ideals into the contemporary cynical world, it is normal to consider that the unborn fetus is part of the woman's body, and that she can do whatever she wants with it if she has the full mental capacity of that.
In unele tari precum Romania din perioada dictatoriala aceasta decizie personala a fost abuzata prin interzicerea accesului femeilor la servicii medicale de intrerupere de sarcina sau la mijloace contraceptionale.
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