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This chapter deals with the emotional abuses made mostly by men, but also several made by women for intimacy. Compared to the first chapter, that deals with sexual abuses and crimes, this chapter involves the presexuality, the abuses of affectivity, seduction and getting trusted by a potential partner. So the first type is about physical abuses for the sex interest and this one is about the emotional abuses. Usually people mistake these types of abuses because the general sexuality is a mixture of physical and psychical conducts. Every adult knows what a sexual abuse is because usually it involves the sexual organs or the body erogenous areas touching and exploring. But when it comes with the emotional abuses things are not very clear and people tends to debate on what is or what is not sexual. For example, an exhibitionist disordered man (someone who appear naked in a public space to be seen by women) can give a woman the impression that is about to rape her and be perceived as a rapist. But still her body was not touched so that can not be rape. The law punishes this behavior as indecency, but it is not focused mainly on the woman’s feelings, but on the exhibitionist’s gesture of breaking the rules of hiding intimate parts of the body. This behavior is not physical rape but emotional abusing that woman.
Moreover, there are emotional abusers that are horrified by the sexual organ touching and exploring. We will see in this chapter that there are the seductive-histrionic persons. They behave in such a way that cannot possibly be sexual abuse. In fact the histrionic women that behave this way are not at all interested in any kind of intercourse. Actually these women are not at all interested by it. It mainly happens with other occasions because other reasons than sexual desire. The interest for this behavior is the internal need to be adored just like in early childhood. However their act of seduction is still an emotional abuse for those meant to be seduced without a normal interest of having an intimate relationship with them. I named this kind of emotional abuse the natural consent abuse, as those who fall victims to this abuse are willing to have an emotional romance or sexual relationship with the persons that intentionally and strategically seduce them.
So we can see that this chapter contains very diverse behaviors. There are two types of psychical - nonviolent- abuses of intimacy. First of all we have this simulating attraction for the purely seduction purposes. It is practiced mostly by women. Secondly there is the sexual harassment that is practiced almost entirely by men. It consists of strategies for receiving consent (unnatural consent) to have sexual relations with a woman before she is ready for it. On the last type of abuse I will focus on the following 2 articles, and then I will analyze the first.
2.1. The difference between natural and abusive acquiescence for intimate relationships.
The harassment is according to Oxford ,
“- the act of annoying or worrying somebody by putting pressure on them or saying or doing unpleasant things to them racial/sexual harassment;
- the act of making repeated attacks on an enemy guerrilla harassment of the enemy”
According to Cambridge , it is
“ Illegal behaviour towards a person that causes mental or emotional suffering, which includes repeated unwanted contacts without a reasonable purpose, insults, threats, touching, or offensive language”
The harassment is any kind of action repetition that pressures the victim. It is practiced where the victim and the aggressor interests or activities overlap for longer period of time. The harasser has control over effective intimidation tools. These may be rough, such as weapons, or hierarchical, like punishments and rewards or other possibilities of the public or within a group defamation and humiliation the victim. It does not have access to these instruments and therefore can not respond or defend against this offensive. The harassment must be clearly distinguished from the occasional abuse that a person can accidentally make to someone on the street, in traffic, or elsewhere where the people’s interests interfere. Usually they stop after each one continues their work on their own.
Adapting the term "harassment" to the interest of having the sexual relationship with a certain person, without naturally obtaining the consent for that, there is the sexual harassment situation. However, the distinction between the sexual harassment and the rape or rape attempt must be made clarified. In the case of rape, the consent is always negative, but it is ignored by the aggressor who goes over it and abuses it. In the case of sexual harassment, the harasser struggles to obtain the victim’s consent to have intimate relationships, and eventually gets it. But it is not taken in a natural and normal way of achieving it as a couple, namely by the emotional approach. The harasser gets it through the repeated attacks on the emotional integrity and social status over the pressured person for this sexual interest.
In US law the sexual harassment is described as
" unwanted and unsolicited physical advances and conduct of a sexual nature, such as touching, rubbing and groping, and sexual, demeaning, degrading and/or offensive comments and activity that may or may not carry the implication that the individual being subjected to these advances may suffer job-related or school-related retribution if she/he rejects them."
In British law (page 2) it is:
" unwelcome sexual advances – touching, standing too close, the display of offensive materials, asking for sexual favours, making decisions on the basis of sexual advances being accepted or rejected "
In French law says
"The sexual harassment is the act of repeatedly imposing on a person sexual comments or behaviors that offend his or her dignity because of their degrading or humiliating nature or create an intimidating, hostile situation or offensive situation.
The sexual harassment refers to the fact, even if not repeated, of using any form of serious pressure for the real or apparent purpose of obtaining an act of a sexual nature, whether it is sought for the benefit of the perpetrator or for the benefit of a third party.”
In the Romanian legislation, the sexual harassment is summarized in the Article. 223 of the Law no.286 (Criminal Code):
"(1) The repeatedly claiming sexual favors in a working relationship or similar relationship, if the victim has been intimidated or put in a humiliating condition, shall be punished by imprisonment from 3 months to one year or fine. "
In the next section I will focus on the sexual harassment types
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