4.8. The political inopportuneness of the exclusive female courtship initiation proposal

4.8. The political inopportuneness of the exclusive female courtship initiation proposal

sociologie Baldovin   09:19

4. The feminist proposal of exclusively female courtship initiation

4.9. The political inopportuneness of the exclusive female courtship initiation proposal

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a. The social norms inefficiency for the crimes and emotional abuses on women prevention

The traditional Social Etiquette and Good Manners is enough to totally stop crimes and emotional abuses against women. Its main characteristic is the self diminishing for the other one favor, and focusing on its needs. If its spirit is applied in the pre-courtship period , then there will be no more rapes or Casanova abuses. Of course, its main problem is that its rules are constantly being violated in a concrete level. Well, the female courtship initiation proposal will not be able to stop the crimes and emotional abuses against women, as the old ones in this Social Etiquette and Good Manners did not. It is not effective by itself, as I have already shown here  .

For the time being, it works partially in the universities or the upper class educated world. It temporarily discourages the potential Casanova-type abusers, who have accidentally arrived from other backgrounds. If having a high class entourage, then the abusive and criminal tendencies men are encouraged to rise up to the same level and behave according to these mannered rules. These abusers cannot apply their street-specific tricks in a populated university environment because any such behavior is ignored and even condemned. But that doesn't work at all. Where there is no such social environment, those undereducated in this way give up good manners, and commit emotional abuses and sexual crimes, according to the environment in which they were formed.

Both the Casanova-type abuses and the rapes take place when the community is not present to collectively disapprove them. The rapes occur on most university campuses, despite its collective implementation. From this example we can see that the women are safe in a populated environment, where they felt safe anyway even before of this potential new rule implementation. I showed in this article  or in this one the fact that banning the peaceful courtship man initiation towards a woman will not solve the problem of sexual harassment and rape. Those who commit these crimes violate the existing laws, as well as the existing courtship rules from the Social Etiquette and Good Manners. So they will not stop violating this new potential rule, as do not care about the old ones. So, even if this new rule would be implemented in the whole society, it would still not work, just as the Social Etiquette and Good Manners were not adopted on in the marginal environments.

b. The uselessness of the exclusive female courtship initiation norm for the dominant women

In addition to the ineffectiveness of such a new "good manners" rule in preventing the crimes and emotional abuses against women, it is also useless for women who actually put it into practice. The female role in the dynamics of couple formation has been partially implemented with the modern era, which has given women independence as they have got equal rights to men. Some of them accepted it, taking seriously the very active role in society. Others have proven superior to most men, including in areas traditionally devoted to men. This is the case of liberal women, entrepreneurs, with a dominant personality. Such women existed in all the history recorded ages. It can be understood that these women control and decide the couple as well as the environment in which they live. Some of them even decide the future of their community. The exclusive female courtship initiation is typical for such a woman, as it is the very initiative of a better administration of the field in which she works. Due to their organizational power, these women are highly respected by the community and society.

The moderate feminism gave them as an example and took them as a model for justifying the equal rights between men and women. The radical feminism went further and set an example to demonstrate an illusory gender superiority of women over men. However, the truly dominant woman type described above is rare, though very visible. Most women have retained their selective-receptive status, according to the natural feminine constitution. The Marxist matriarchy theory, according to which the women held the political power and control over the formation of couples, was refuted by subsequent studies of cultural anthropology. The matrilineal totem rules, described by Levi Strauss* and other anthropologists, used in tribal societies, was meant to avoid the incest by forbidding marriages between members of the same totemic sign. The matrilineal transmission of the totemic sign was meant to forbid mainly the sexual relations both between parents and children and also between the brothers and sisters. The women image in the primitive artistic productions had this explanation and not the reflection of any female political superpower, as Marx believed. The theory that women played a more active political role than men in the stages of human evolution is a mistake.

c. The exclusive feminine courtship initiation theory conflict with the very nature of femininity

In addition to its main purpose inefficiency for which would be implemented in society, the exclusive female courtship initiation proposal brings a disadvantage to the traditional mentality. It firstly tends to limit the conservatives' way of building love relationships. Except for the dominant woman described above, the exclusive female courtship initiation proposal comes as an extra burden for the conservative mentality, or for a socially inexperienced young woman. It affects the attractive and selective instinctive role of the femininity. Such a permutation that some feminists are trying at this time of civilization has no chance of success because there are many women themselves who do not accept it. Not all women who embrace this proposal want a more active role in the couple's dynamics.

I showed in this article that in the mammals male has a slightly more active role in courtship, while the female has a selective- receptive one. In the same way, in the traditional human culture, it was the man who initiated a relationship that could end in marriage. Although there have been and still are few exceptions, the general rule is that the woman is attractive and waits, as the man is the one who likes and approaches her. As in the animal world, basically the human male has a somewhat more active role in the courtship dynamics. The human female is receptive or refractory to the proposal coming from the male. It is natural for a man to discreetly initiate courtship a woman and advance with it as he receives signals that she is interested in such a thing. In the civilization advanced degree societies, the man was the one who signaled more or less explicit interest in courtship, and the woman either responded positively through equally explicit signs, or negatively, through the disinterest signs. Excluding the traditional courtship behavior rules and replacing them with a single one, specific to dominant women, is an attack on the natural human sexuality and affectivity.

There are women who like to be complimented by unknown men in the populated public space. The street compliments do not annoy them like they do to the feminist omen. On the contrary, such a thing temporarily revives for many women the femininity that has become more or less flattened in a routine sexual relationship. Some show satisfaction with such a thing, and others hide it. This gesture is caused by the fact that they do not want to leave the relationship that are in or do not want a relationship with the one who approached them. They consider that, if they show their satisfaction, then the courtship initiator could wrongly understand that he has received the consent to continue it. That's why some women prefer not to show that they like the street compliments.

The young and teenager boys approach unknown girls on a regular basis to initiate emotional relationships. The songs videos that are broadcast by the specialized in dance music channels abound in situations in which the unknown and boy and girl "urgently" approach each other emotionally, guided by the inspiration of rhythms. I also mentioned that the lack of time or the economic migrations specific to the contemporary lifestyle made these rules to be ignored. Despite love failures with the Casanova men or with people who practice the disguised prostitution  (both men and women), many couples started after the courtship initiation without regard to these rules. It is very risky and those concerned would better adjust to these social norms for they own protection against the abuses. They have been culturally designed to help them find a more suitable partner. But if these people choose this kind of minimal courtship, that’s their choice and they cannot be forced to civilize.



d. The meaning of the exclusive female courtship initiation proposal for the different social groups that adhere to it

The exclusive female courtship initiation measure is perceived differently by the various social groups that adhere to it. Each of them understands different side of it, or follows something else from it, depending on its own group specific mentality. Most of the groups that adhere to this proposal are totally satisfied with the Social Etiquette and Good Manners. These traditional high manners rules can more effectively replace the female courtship initiation social purpose. They consistently promoted the love relationships construction in the spirit of patience, attention and obedience to the partner within the courtship and the marriage. If something like this is extrapolated to the before courtship period, then the too explicit messages discomfort problems that some women feel would disappear. Unfortunately, these rules have not been promoted throughout the entire social body. Some of its norms are outdated by the contemporary egalitarian spirit of the sexes. Then they remained elected only for the upper classes. These courtship rules are still unknown for the most contemporaries, as they have humble condition. In the absence of clear regulations provided by a proper courtship education, many women feel represented by this new proposal. A search for these rules on the internet or in the library can temper this feminism need for an anti-traditionalist revolution with this new norm.

There are legitimate women interests for not being disturbed by too many courtship initiation attempts. The very beautiful women, the media stars and other celebrities, including men, are negatively affected by an excessive influx of suitors and admirers who constantly bother them with courtship initiation proposals. The common women want a greater role in the couple formation dynamics, according with the contemporary egalitarian ideas and against the traditional woman obedience towards man. They do not necessarily want the burden responsibility of the relationship building through female exclusive initiation, but only to have the freedom to choose the right partner, without being disturbed by others. But both the Social Etiquette and Good Manners, as the preliminary stages regarding courtship that I wrote about in this article , suit them much better.

There are married women who adhere to this female courtship initiation ideology because their sexual appetite is lower than their husbands. As mentioned above in this study , they want sexual acts to be rarer, according to their own appetite. But they do not have the courage to seriously discuss this with their husbands, or they are afraid of unpleasant consequences such as the cooling of the relationship or even divorce. So, as an alternative, they believe that such a measure could indirectly favor them on this issue. Then, the couple contented women, the anxious ones, the lesbians and the luxury prostitutes do not want to be assaulted at all with explicit the courtship initiation messages from men. The first ones don't want it because they really don't want anything else. The anxious women do not want such messages because they are frightened by the prospect of rape or other emotional abuse. The lesbians do not have a heterosexual orientation, so they are not interested in such a thing. And the luxury prostitutes do not want wealthy men to know that they have such a job, and that they mimic the affection and passion that "arose" for them. They seek to facilitate the greatest possible financial interests through these relationships and do not want to be approached by the medium financial potential men; playing the divas role, they want to fool the very wealthy men who do not see their tricks. In the same way the histrionic women want a libidinal-seductive interests facilitation out of this new rule. For them, the seduction and the seduced one abandonment has a function of mental orgasm, as I have described in detail here

We notice that under this norm apparent legitimacy, the last two social groups also hide certain women obscure interests. For the disguised prostitutes this rule ensures a financial interest based on lies. For the histrionic women, it covers their insatiable need for scandal. The Social Etiquette and Good Manners applied during the preceding courtship period can rebalance things. The honest women can appeal to it. Both the preceding courtship rules and stages are already affirmed by the Social Etiquette and Good Manners. These traditional rules are enough to address the new gender issues in the contemporary society. So I end this article in the same state in which I ended the previous one , sending both men and women to self-education and taking on the traditional rules of courtship. They may be old and totally unacceptable, but they have the advantage of being consolidated for over a thousand years, at a time when the sexes socialization was not conditioned by the lack of time as today.

The radical feminists (but also the moderate ones who sometimes tend to support their ideas) must learn that these rules violation by the street courtship initiators does not justify an offensive response from them, as cannot be legally criminalized. Those good manners lacking have never been condemned in history, but only ignored. The exception was the lack of polite behavior towards the royal family members that could bring one plebeian’s end faster. But this is no longer the case today. Moreover, I bet that the radical feminists are not part of any royal family, despite (or because of) their histrionic narcissism… The insult that some of them respond to such an explicit courtship initiator is as unmannered as his preceding courtship rules violation. In this case, it is difficult to ask someone not to deviate from the good manners in regard to you as you do not do it yourself and use demeaning behaviors, gestures and words.

On the other hand, the men must learn to naturally use these rules, just like the mammal world males, without the coercion means specific to the classical or even the contemporary society! The success of the pairing depends on the result, not on their violation. Once this stage is completed, things can adjust by themselves, as they did in the classical balanced societies. An exception to this rule is given by the poetic minds that violate these rules for spiritual purposes. The exclusive female courtship initiation proposal also conflicts with them, as I will show in the next article.

* Levi Strauss – The Savage Mind

Gabriel Baldovin

4.7. c. Approaching an unknown woman in the public space: the worst place for men to initiate courtship

4.7. c. Approaching an unknown woman in the public space: the worst place for men to initiate courtship

sociologie Baldovin   10:41

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4.7. c. Approaching an unknown woman in the public space: the worst place for men to initiate courtship


Further on, I will analyze the fault coming from the other side, the masculine one, by too explicit signaling to initiate the courtship. This is the explicit approach on the street or through social networks. It creates discomfort for most women. For a long time I thought that this discomfort women usually complain about was due to an anxious psychopathological constitution, which interprets a gesture of politeness as aggression. There are certain women who meet into this psychopathological pattern, and I wrote about them here as I will come back with more in details about them in the following articles. They generally interpret community politeness as an explicit sign of courtship initiation. But here I do not refer to these cases, but to those who are explicitly approached by men for the courtship purposes. This is not a community politeness gesture. The politeness is meant to harmonize social relations between community members. It is a behavior of personal individuality diminution in favor of the others personal status lifting. On the contrary, the courting and the sexuality is an individual exclusive behavior for the rest of the community from the function of reproduction, for selective purposes. The courtship is a competition of individual genetic physical qualities, covered by a polite packaging. So it is actually the politeness polarity.

Too explicit approaching as unknown person makes sense from the male sexual instinct perspective. It must be available at any time for mating. But for the specific to the female sexual instinct selective optics, such a thing is inappropriate. For this reason, the too explicit approaching from an unknown man who initiates a relationship from cause discomfort also for a nonaxiety woman, not just for the anxious ones. There are four causes for this discomfort, somehow related to each other. 1. The first is that the explicit approach of a woman on the street or in any of the public spaces for the purpose of courtship initiating violates at least 2 of the 4 of the traditional pre-courtship rules described in this sectionn of this series. They refer to the prior knowing the potential partner or introducing him by a trusted person. Often such practices also violate the 4th courtship pre-rule, related to the initiator lower social rank. Most street initiators try their luck at nicer women or better dressed than they are. Obviously, such a practice contradicts the female sexuality main selective interest.

The women are totally entitled to ask for courtship rules education so that they should not be excluded from the decision taken by the men in regard to a more or less explicit love relationship with them. Without such an explicit sign from them, stepping to the courtship 5-th prior stage is a clear lack of respect for the woman. Regardless of how beautiful the man's gesture would be, if he ignores stage 5, without giving the woman the opportunity to choose, according to stage 3, then the woman may feel like a prostitute whose love is bought, as mentioned above.

2. In addition, this also violate of the courtship 3rd pre-initiation stage, as described in this section  . Most of the women who are suddenly approached the street feel excluded from the relationship building after such an explicit initiative, and it is normal to refuse such proposals. Even if the social rank or the qualities of a man that explicitly approaches a woman to form a couple, are similar or even superior to her, by this path his chances of success are lower. Only the fact that he decides to explicitly initiate the courtship in the public space, like anyone else, disqualifies him in the selective eyes of feminine sexual receptivity. Basically he did something every man can do. It has merged with the majority, which is not very attractive to a woman. The only thing that could get him out of this mediocrity incompatible with the female sexuality selective interests is an exceptional gesture, a word of spirit or something else. Unfortunately, these things do not come by order...

A man attempt to emotionally approach a woman without her explicit consent has been denied in the past and is still today. The contemporary society is constantly abusing a person's neutrality to force acceptance into a relationship or another  , but that is only a poor attempt to patch the dictatorship and slavery in the freedom colors. Similarly, forcing a woman's emotional closeness acceptance is a sign of abuse. Given the fact that some women are blackmailed into accepting a more intense sex life with their husbands, such an accelerated and unilateral-male initiative of intimate relationships is not appreciated by them.

3. The third cause is our society women normal fear towards the sex offenders. I believed for a long time that this fear is exaggerated, and I considered it as a symptom of either paranoia (of persecution form), or anxiety, or a paranoid (or traumatic) personality disorder. There are indeed women who overlap this psychopathology. But beyond this minority, the women experience a real danger. After I studied the sexual crime official statistics released by the state authorities, I realized that we are living a true conspiracy regarding the violence against women . There are states that put massive social pressure on the marginalized one, such as the US, Russia, China, Romania and many more, and give no social protection to these people. These states, simply protect the sexual criminals  in order to cover up the luxurious murderous sadists the hold the power.

So the women have serious reasons to fear not only unknown men, but even the acquaintances, although the statistics tell that a street courtship initiator is not a rapist. Not every woman is an expert in rape and crime statistics to know that such men are not masked pimps or rapists. In a society that does not provide clear statistical data on rapes, kidnappings and sadistic murders of women, it is normal for a woman to interpret an unknown street courtship initiator as a potential rapist. Or, even if they know the statistics that show that the rapist is not a street courtship initiator as, they may not want to take these risks, no matter if minimal. So the chances of women refusing the street courtship initiation in these places are bigger than in others. And, it is advisable for men to try courtship initiation elsewhere rather than on the street, besides waiting for the clear signs from the woman.

4. Finally, the fourth cause of women's reluctance toward the unknown approaches in the public space is the emotional abuse risk. A man that stalks on the street and proposes intimate relationships to women is a potential Casanova. He passes from one woman to another, stops at no one and leaves behind sufferance. I already described these behaviors here  . Due to the emotional abuse that such a man can create, he is bypassed by women. A courtship street initiator cannot be distinguished from an abuser, and the women are not willing to risk it.

Every man who uses this should know that the street is one of the worst places to start the courtship. Men who practice it have the impression that they can break these strongly consolidated norms in the human consciousness, just because they think are special. After their failure, they are surprised to be rejected, and sometimes behave unjustly in the face of this refusal, by offending or abusing the woman.

The 4th courtship pre-initiation rule, respectively the social status concordance, should be understood and assumed in particular. Men should be educated from school so that they do not become aggressive or abusive towards the woman who refuses their courtship initiation both in this street context and in other contexts and in other interests. The feminist slogan "no means no" is perfectly justified and should be applied in every human relations in general, not just in the courtship. A proposal from anyone should not necessarily be accepted as in the Middle Ages according to the criterion of class or gender superiority.

A man who goes directly to the intimate relationships proposal can be successful in front of women who are in a hurry or struck by the direct approach originality. Those 4 traditional pre-rules are sufficient to regulate the relationships between the men who initiate street courting and the women who accept or refuse it. A discrete attempt to socialize can result in courtship if the approached woman shows obvious signs in this regard. If she does not offer back such signs, any effort is in vain. After being ignored like that, many men go on to more explicit signs instead of showing a better version of them, according to the courtship stage 4. But in this way they violate the first 2 traditional courtship pre-rules and their approach success chances are close to 0.

Are you a poet? Do you have an audience that appreciates you? Then yes. You can risk such street approach for women in public space, assuming the humility of being rejected. Most likely, poets much higher than you have been rejected in the past. If you think you are better than them, then, yes, you can try your luck. But, beware that you may be evaluated below your actual level with this risk taking!

d. Traditional solutions for women to avoid complications after inopportune street approaches by men


For an average woman the discomfort of an inappropriate approach is not so big as to make a big irascibility crisis out of it. But there are others who obstinately seek out the scandal, and behave seductively through clothing and gestures. If the man happens to be shy or feel insecure about him, then they find the right time to humiliate him in everybody’s eyes. It is a disproportionate reaction from some women that should not be encouraged. The school generally did not focus on educating young people on what to do to find a partner in love. Sex education mainly refers to situations after the couple's appearance but not how they should be formed. Many who try such approaches do not know that it bothers women. And the education with aggressive words cannot be done. Of course, as I will show later  , in this case there is a sadistic interest of the histrionic conformation women themselves to specifically humiliate such weak men, thus taking precautionary measures in choosing them, making sure that they will not become violent later.

Then, there are situations that this kind of women wildly interprets the slightest sign of courtship initiation as disrespect, sexual harassment or rape. And in this case I do not consider those who move on to clearer signs of starting the courtship, after the woman did not respond with interest to his previous signs. I refer strictly to those who showed very discreet signs, which are generally shown in other contexts than those of the courtship. To counteract this there is enough the so far arguments: the discreet gestures or conversations with which one can test the woman's readiness to accept the courtship also apply in other contexts than the courtship. This can neither be prohibited nor incriminated because it is constantly used in the society. The woman lack of enthusiasm in front of this discreet sign is a criterion for stopping the courtship. Such a reticent response is enough, not an aggressive or humiliating response to the one who tried to initiate it.

Such a simple rule has been practiced in the past and is practiced even today until the radical feminism started to ostracize any sign made by a man, no matter how slight it might be. As I pointed out in a previous section  , the peaceful courtship initiation is not an aggression, neither sexual harassment nor rape. In the video below you can see an example of a woman, who becomes aggressive and almost starts a fight with a man because he previously greeted her without knowing her.



The channel that presents this footage is a clearly anti-feminist and even misogynist at some points. It is possible that the above scene is not a genuine one, but a caricature against the wide feminism, by its many opponents. But it presents a radical feminism reality of wildly interpreting a courtship discrete sign as an aggression. The reaction in this video is a clear exaggeration to such a discreet sign, even if it violates the above mentioned 4th pre-initiation courtship rule, namely the compatibility of the social rank. I will return to the detailed analysis of this exaggeration in future articles. So far, I'm just offering it as an example.

The woman absolute human cultural refusal to enter the courtship flirts, according to the courtship 4th pre-initiation rule, dictated by the human social stratification, causes an instinctual confusion. Her refusal is interpreted by the male sexual instinct as passing to the courtship 3-rd pre-initiation rule, as stagnation. As have already mentioned in this study, during the traditional period when the social classes were hermetically isolated, the lower hierarchical level man could not initiate the second stage of courtship to a member of a higher class woman. But that did not mean that the sexual instinct would also numb to the outward rules of society. In between the classical and the industrial eras, the courtship 4th pre-initiation rule began to be ignored, according to the instinct’s interest. The absolute institutional refusal from the beloved women to accept their courtship made the Romantics raise the stake. Remarkable cultural productions were born in this way. "The Sorrows of Young Werther" is one of them. "The Evening Star" is another. Eminescu kept walking "Down Where The Lonely Poplars Grow", but his inner ideal of accessing to a higher class through love was realized only on a phantasmic level, in "Poor Dionysos". Many men saw it directly that the beloved person refusal or the obstacles against getting close to her had rather reinforced their passion than stop it. A more or less marginal man, without the above cultural figures talent is rather incited by a duplicitous and perverse refusal from a histrionic woman.

The more ore less histrionics women instinctively feel this. And sometimes they raise the stake to the seduction without a concrete interest of courtship, but just to exercise her forces. But they must assume the risks of entering such a seduction game. A marginal man, humiliated in the daily life by numerous frustrations, can turn his anger on a woman who ventures into such games. The feminist slogan "no mean no" is justified for decent women. But it loses consistency with the seductive histrionic women case. They end up being abused by men who interpret their sensuality as accepting of the courtship 5th pre-initiation stage. The state cannot and should not cover these games. Women in general need to be careful about how they refuse such a social excluded man that approaches them on the street. A humiliating refused man can act violently, so in this case they need diplomacy. Basically, the women pretty much know what this diplomacy is, whether they are average or they are histrionic-seductive. I will briefly enumerate below three solutions to this problem to emphasize once again that the society has solved these problems long before nowadays. They need only be retaken over and adapted to the conditions of the contemporary world.

The returning to the ring institution is enough to signal that a woman does not want an approach in the public space by a man, if such a minor frustration is perceived as oversized as in the case before. But the returning to this institution must be honest and consistent. There are women who take their ring off the finger on the street not for the sake of meta-justice arrogance, but to ambivalently sign the readiness for re-engagement. And when the "offer" is dissatisfying they invoke the right to be alone. Indeed, even the underprivileged men who randomly approach women, as a routine, without differentiation, do not behave fairly. But also the women who practice such things get into a dangerous abuse game. I will return to this topic in the following articles.

On the other hand, the men direct approaches from on the social media can be stopped by the refusal to accept the followers or to include the unknown profiles in the list of friends in the social networks, if the courtship initiating frustration is so big. There is the possibility of refusing contact in the main social networks. Or, it is possible to create a public account, which involves communicating with larger groups, and a personal account, which communicates with friends in real life. The public should not have personal photos or location. The moderate feminism  found a whole set of rules on this fact. A reader sent me a very detailed article  about what women should do to avoid the sexual harassment online or in real life. I found very interesting the "Block Together" application used for Twitter that will automatically block any follower that is active for less than 7 days and has less than 15 followers. For more details, just visit the link above!

Only, yes, these women have a dubious conflict of interest. They are undecided between two things that at one point conflict with each other. On the one hand they need the advantage of popularity in that particular social media network, coming from the unknown people positive reactions and comments. Such "friends" appreciate their activities and raise up their status in the others perception. For this reason, they are received in the circle of friends from the respective online social network. But when these "friends" start talking through the private messages, things are no longer pleasant for them, and they want to change the approaching social rules. In the same situation are the women who have married out of interest and not out of love, and wake up in their mid-life that no longer find their identity, and feel used in the marital couple. Basically the "friends" dilemma from the social media networks resumes from the virtual level into the real life the wife married for material reasons, or the luxury prostitute who needs the others admiration to raise the price for her services but their approaches destroys her plans.

The third solution to avoid unpleasant situations is the appropriate dress to the place and time. In point C of this article  I have shown that avoiding summary, provocative clothing in the dubious urban spaces is a universal solution for the problems that comes from too often approaches from men. I will return to this topic in the following articles because there is a debate here on the underprivileged men "education" so as not to approach such seductive women. This debate is broader and has more diverse topics and that is why I will dedicate it a distinctive section. So far, I only briefly show that such a precaution is a diplomatic solution to avoid this kind of short-term inconvenience, so as not to cause confusion among men.

So there is no need to revolutionize the civilized behavior through the exclusive female courtship initiation. The traditional courtship pre-initiation stages and rules are good enough. On the one hand the most important courtship pre-initiation stages, namely the 1/st and the 5-th are decided by the woman herself. And these are the most important. The exclusive female courtship initiation proposal is already covered by this traditional norm. Then, a couple love relationship with a passive man is undesirable for most women. I will return to this topic in more details in the following articles. I will present in them auxiliary arguments against the feminist exclusive female courtship initiation proposal and to incriminate (even if only morally) the greeting without consent. Further on there are 3 articles in which I will describe the conflict of the exclusive female courtship initiation theory first with the traditional-conservative mentality  , then with the poetic and spiritual love , and then with moderate feminism itself .

Gabriel Baldovin

4.7. There is no need for another rule regarding the courtship, but to update the courtship traditional pre-steps and rules to the contemporary lifestyle

4.7. There is no need for another rule regarding the courtship, but to update the courtship traditional pre-steps and rules to the contemporary lifestyle

sociologie Baldovin   03:27

4. The feminist proposal of exclusively female courtship initiation 

4.7. There is no need for another rule regarding the courtship, but to update the courtship traditional pre-steps and rules to the contemporary lifestyle 

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I have shown in this article, ,  the traditional pre-courtship rules. These rules and stages are as well embedded in the human consciousness of the courtship as the social norms. Most people instinctively follow these rules. Those who violate them are a minority. The society does not clearly affirm them, but tradition has always promoted the patience, not only in loving relationships, but in all human activities. In the bellow document on Social Etiquette and Good Manners, on the page 8, it can be seen that the patience is one of the characteristic of the rule of the first meeting a woman for courtship purposes.



The protection and focusing on women's interests and needs are part of the courtship prior rules that are covered by this traditional Social Etiquette. Unfortunately, the humble social condition people did not have access to it and usually they do not much know about.

Today the internet access has allowed such contact but some of its rules are no longer in line with the gender equality contemporary society natural feminism. Here is the case with the rule number 3, 6, 7, 9, 10, 12, 16, 19, 21 and partly 14 of this courtship prior rules set. . Regardless these rules variations, we recognize in them a common denominator in every each of them and that is the man given superior status in society and inside the family. And that's why these norms clearly stated by the high society have become obsolete nowadays.

Thus, although they worked well in a traditional society, they have become slightly inapplicable today. We live in a new society. The frequent job changes in the contemporary society made them unusable. The contemporary mobility and the corporate mindset made the human relations to change. There is no time for putting in practice these rules and pre-courtship stages in the way they have been traditionally consolidated. Besides the lack of time, the contemporary society specific isolation brings with it the lack of friends. This implies both selecting a partner narrowing horizon and weakening the second pre-courtship rule, which is introducing through the close ones. The pressure of loneliness and the sexual impulses eventually ignore this rule. It is highly ironic that in an overcrowded world, some people may not find the right half love partner.

The social dynamics, the freedoms resulting from the social classes boundaries stretching have led to social rules wide confusion. The possibility of pregnancy termination or of the treatment for a possible sexually transmitted disease has made women more open to forgetting these both pre-existing and actual courtship rules and stages. Therefore the courtship traditional general rules have become abandoned or weakened. A cyclical lifestyle, with ups and downs, with changes the entourage, friends or even family, can allow them to give up these traditional rules. The adolescents tend to constantly jump over them, due to their rush to become adults. But the love failures they keep experiencing once they reach adulthood make them go back to them rather than go on their own with creating personal norms. The traditional norms renunciation only because they are old, has brought unimaginable problems, such as the risks of abuse and mental suffering at one specific time for everybody. The contemporary lifestyle has abandoned them, but they were created precisely to prevent the emotional abuse that results once again out of ignoring them. So it is the case now that these norms get dust cleaned and reused in the society, there where they do not conflict with the gender egalitarianism mentality. Not everything that is tradition is unusable as to be vehemently rejected.

a. The risks of total renunciation of the pre-courtship stages and rules


In the past, the couples were formed in the community and partners rarely left each other. In addition to the unsatisfied sexual impulses frustrations, in the past the choosing of a partner was made after the couple fidelity interests. In traditional western urban agglomerations, the couples were formed based on their parents' experience of choosing the best partner for their sons and daughters. The main criteria for choosing a life partner were not those of today. The beauty, the exceptional, the extraordinary, that we seek today for our life partner, was secondary criteria in the past. However people also were very similar one another as mainly they had the same occupations. But the most important criterion of forming a couple was the partner health so the two live together as much as possible. If one of them would have gotten ill or died young, then the remaining alive chances to reunite with another partner were small. For this reason, the marriage was a life strategy that involved the entire family.

Unlike those times, today's couples form following a special affection that the partners feel for each other. The premarital love was not specific for the times when the courtship stages crystallized in the animal world. The love between the partners came after the couple formed. In the Western contemporary society this is rarely the case. Today the most important thing for a relationship is that sparkling that makes the person in love to dream of, other than the potential partner health. In the absence of this spark, the woman does not accept to go to pre stage 5 . Separately or in continuation of this sparkling, the interests of the partners depending on the level of civilization also change. Recently the radical differences in options and frequency of libidinal impulses have appeared. They do not necessarily create incompatibilities in the couple, but no satisfaction. So the contemporary people increasingly test this side, as sexual preferences become more and more eccentric.

I have shown in this article that there is a psychopathological background that rejects in any way any male courtship initiation, no matter how discreet it might be. Close to this category are the women who either have a hyperlidinal partner, or who have a low sexual desire . But not all women's refusal to accept the courtship is due to the psychopathological symptoms. A normal woman does not accept courtship mainly due to the fact that the man does not meet the 4-th rule criteria or the 3-rd prior stage. If a man skips this stage in courtship initiating, then the woman can interpret his gesture as evaluating her as a prostitute. Which is not exactly what the women want from a relationship ... In the same way it can happen the other way around: a man who is prompt with an overly explicit courtship proposal from a woman may misinterpret her as a prostitute, although she may even want to build a stable couple relationship.

If we were a species with few individuals, then the mating from the pure chance of any partner meeting would be justified by the need for species survival. This is probably what those who want such relationships want. But we are not. We are the predator species with the largest population. So the women are forced by their own sexual instinct to be selective, by the female sexuality principles as it exists even in the mammal world. Socializing with a woman, friendship relations with her on different levels of interaction does not mean that she is automatically willing to accept a loving relationship with her social partners. Yes, there is the reality of friendships with benefits, but such a thing cannot become a universal rule. Whoever does not learn this will have no female friends in the family or in the community, but only subordinates who execute unemotional orders.

Some of the traditional society rules are sexist, discriminatory. I have shown above how the Social Etiquette and Good Manners have become obsolete. Social rules are not given once and for all. They change with society itself. In the same way, the courtship rules have changed and are constantly changing as the society itself does. These can be accelerated and thus the contemporary need for time can be satisfied. However, they should not be abandoned altogether. Once they are cleansed of these conflicts with contemporary society, they must be put back in human behavior. The patience promoted by that Etiquette from the previous link on page 8, is a rule that the courtship must keep. No other courtship rules should be invented that roughly contradict the traditional ones, just because they are traditional but only because would contradict the gender equality, contemporary liberties and group minorities dignity. Not all the traditional rules contradict these contemporary values. The traditional society rules must be viewed with more respect and understanding and use from there what is good and functional in today's society.

Both the theory of the courtship exclusive female initiation and the unknown men explicit approaches come ignore these traditional preceding rules and stages for courtship. Those who support them did not receive education concerning them, or can afford to ignore them due to their high social status. Those raised in humble social condition don't know they exist. In their families the marriages were arranged by their parents or were a rape consequence that later turned into marriage at the families or justice pressure. There's none to blame for that. Most of us have a humble social condition. And this is not bad and not even shameful. It is rather shameful what the upper classes did when either conquered or attracted the "barbarians" in the state of social inferiority. But, now that they have regulated these courtship rules, everybody can take and use them as general rules in the society. It is not necessary to reinvent the wheel, but to take over what the society has already experienced before.

b. What can be kept from the prior to the courtship traditional rules and stages


It is the dialogue. Building couple relationship coming from both partners will remain a perennial value in the courtship. It has been clearly affirmed by the Social Etiquette and Good Manners in the past and must be preserved in the future. This is a rule of the ancestral background of the female sexual instinct and will be perpetuated for a long time from here by the power of its deep consolidation in the biological background. This has been done constantly and in the past, without explicitly detailing the process where no Etiquette was verbalized. Except in cases where one of the partners has a depressive, dependent or avoidant psychopathological conformation, the both couple members, not just one of them, be it a woman or a man, must participate in the construction of an intimate relationship. The emotional and physical closeness must be achieved gradually by mutual acceptance of the progress in the relationship. These levels of construction of the couple's relationship must be made by discrete signs, which give the potential partner, woman or man, the possibility of elegant refusal, without being put in difficulty, if the person interested in forming a couple is not wanted.

The discrete sign means that gesture or expression that is widely used outside the couple's relationship. Greeting is such a sign. The unique attempt to attract a woman's attention by a man through a smile, greeting or conversation initiation, which is a discrete courtship initiation, is normal as that of the woman towards a man. The compliment can be such a sign if it does not refer to the woman physical intimacy. For example, a compliment for the woman dresses is such a discreet sign. A compliment may become too explicit if it refers to her body.

These signs are sufficient. The woman understands man’s intentions and she will go to the 5th stage of acceptance, if she considers it appropriate. Most women who support the theory of the exclusive female courtship initiation have exactly this stage in mind, which accords also with the courtship traditional rules. But I will show in the following articles that the radical feminists understand and pursue something else from this stage.

Men generally make a big mistake when they send more explicit courtship messages to a woman who replied with less intimate message to their previous messages. If these signs launched by the courtship initiating person are too explicit then they invariably put the other person in a mess, as she does not want to construct of a couple relationship with that person. Any person, whether male or female, should be given the option of discreet refusal to courtship. Only if the woman responds in the same direction, with more explicit messages than those of stimulation coming from the initiating person, then the signs can become explicit, and eventually move to the couple approaching. Otherwise, the chances of getting close are very low and the courtship efforts are meaningless.

The courtship traditional pre rules consolidate the gradual intimacy between the couple members. All we have to do is adapt them to the contemporary speed. The intimacy between the partners must be done gradually, regardless of whether it is fast or not. In this case it does not matter if the man or the woman initiates the court; if the degree of discretion gives the other person enough room to refuse the courtship continuation, without being put into difficulty, then things are solved by themselves and these problems that some women complain about would no longer exist. There is no need to reinvent the wheel. It is not necessary to introduce this new rule of exclusive female courtship initiation, but just taking and adjusting these already traditionally given norms to the contemporary way of life.

There are two situations in which these principles are radically violated. The first is that of the men who offer too explicit courtship initiation signs and leave no room for the approached woman elegant refusal. The other is that of the discrete sign wild interpretation as sexual harassment or rape by the radical feminism. I will continue to analyze each in the next article .

Gabriel Baldovin

4.6. The courtship pre-initiation stages. The exclusive female courtship initiation conflict with the biological nature

4.6. The courtship pre-initiation stages. The exclusive female courtship initiation conflict with the biological nature

sociologie Baldovin   12:02

4. The feminist proposal of exclusively female courtship initiation

4.6. The courtship pre-initiation stages. The exclusive female courtship initiation conflict with the biological nature

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This section reveals an argument against the male courtship initiation. The theory of exclusive courtship female initiation seems totally justified in this context. The fear of serial killers is our society reality that the authorities are trying to strip and camouflage in their characteristic style. But in the previous section I showed that even the exclusive female courtship initiation is not a solution to stop the sexual crimes and the emotional abuses. In fact, any street courtship initiation, whether coming from a man or from a woman, is problematic; the risk of meeting a sadist from the position of courtship initiator is as big as that of accepting it. So the sadism negative effects on women in society cannot be solved by this revolutionary measure.

The solution to this dilemma is found in the animal world and consists in the certain pre-courtship stages, in which both potential partners participate. These stages were then taken over by the stable, conservative human society, regardless the level of the technological development of that civilization. These steps complement the 4 rules preceding the courtship , after they have been fulfilled. They were not clearly described in a global study, or in a certain custom, but learned from the family through personal examples. However, these stages have functioned in the healthy area of human society since ancient times, as well as in most species developed in the mammal world, that is, the closest animals to us. These stages are the following (I am referring to the male and the female in the animal world as the man and the woman in human society):

1. The female availability. In the animal world, the female signals the mating availability, through sound, olfactory, auditory and visual means. In human society this is done especially by visual means, by the feminine flirting, by her costume and other beautify methods.

2. The male response. In the animal world, the male smells, hears, sees or feels the female mating availability in other ways. Then he tries to impress her with personal qualities of beauty, ability or strength (eliminating rivals or other gestures). In human society this is done through gallant gestures such as the offering flowers or other gifts, the politeness (sometimes excessive), singing, reciting poems, etc. In exceptional cases, the traditional society also used the duel between the claimants to the same woman in case she could not choose.

3. The female hesitation. In the animal world the female does not look impressed but circumspect. In the solitary predators species the female is even aggressive when the male approaches, although she was the one who had signaled her availability in the first place. In human behavior this is done by the woman shyness and her initial reserved attitude. Her hesitation is real, authentic or theatrical, hiding enthusiasm, which she later openly communicates with the entourage. Although it seems inadvertent in animal species or even hypocrisy in the human species, this stage has the role of the male maximum stimulation, a further test of his patience and his determination to mate. Also, this condition makes him show his best version, a decisive fact for the survival and prosperity of the new generation that result from the mating.

4. The male stagnation. It is the seduction moment peak, as followed by the previous point. In the animal world it is the right after moment following the fight with the rival or the start of losing interest in the female stagnation. After this moment, the female decides to take decisive steps towards mating, in order not to miss the optimal moment of the male's form. However, if his intentions can be further stimulated, the female keeps flirting with it for some time to reach his full potential. In these cases the male assumes the active role and chase the female until the next stage, when he mates with her.

5. The female final acceptance. This is the moment when the female decides to make a step towards the confused male that went to the point of giving up the courtship or she no longer avoids contact with him as in the third stage. From now on, the male's body may could get damaged by injury or he may enter into a form recoil, and this fact is inopportune for reproduction. The animal sexuality is largely built around this stage. Without the final female acceptance and the sexual intercourse initiation by her, mating is not possible. In herbivorous species where the males are fiercely fighting each other, this stage is useless, as the fights are already getting the most out of the male potential.

The sexuality and mating behavior specific to the human species follow those from the animal world. The difference is that the approaching partners’ stages are longer in humans. The courtship pre-stages of the are on the one hand acts of demonstration of the physical abilities or protection for the babies that will be born. They must be born exactly in the peak period of food resources. The mating season in the animal world is governed by the cycles of nature and the food abundance. On the other hand, the courtship pre-stages are non-aggression pacts, which the partners promise to each other during the mating. In the mammals and other species, the females are vulnerable during physical intimacy. In the predatory species females exposes to the male the most fragile area, the throat. Therefore, the completion of these stages and gaining the trust of the partner is an indispensable condition for pairing.

These stages have often been ignored in history and the result has been the deterioration of couple relationships. Initially men ignored them, and then the women did too. Due to the differentiated weapons, some could much more easily impose their domination on others, and implicitly on women. The women were conquered by threat and even violence with a superior army rather than through the 5 pre-courtship stages. This is how rape begun in history, with all the negative consequences in the human culture, which we know. That is why, in traditional human societies, the role of men in courtship and decision making is much bigger than in the male animal. The discrimination against women is very visible in these moments of history. From this point of view, the general feminism (either radical or moderate) claims towards the traditional exclusion of women from marriage decisions are justified. The traditional man has taken on far larger responsibilities than the woman. Such an overrating of the man's contribution to the couple's relationship construction and strengthening had an unpleasant setback, respectively that of women's feelings freezing. The affective that reinforces the couple has been replaced by the emotional blackmail and the strict rules. Actually, the intimacy relationship has been replaced with the official one.

That is why it is better that these stages shall be understood as preceding to the courtship, just like the preceding rules the courtship. Accessing into their counting does not mean proper courtship until after the fifth stage of the female acceptance, even if in the animal world and even in the human species it often means sexual coupling. That means the courtship end and the love relationship beginning. From here the proper rules of courtship and strengthening the love relationship are established by the good manners code. The rules of this code vary from one geographical area to another, but it has a common denominator: the patience towards the steps of building the relationship and focusing on the woman wishes, putting them on the foreground. Regarding this set of preceding stages, they are by no means the courtship beginning stages, but another set of eliminatory tests for the courtship beginning. Only if the man passes the 5th stage, meaning that the woman gave him a clear signal that he can advance in the more explicit signals, then he can speak of a courtship beginning in the proper sense of the term, in which both partners consent. Until then, there is only a male attempt to courtship, which is not equivalent to the female's acceptance.

If we consider these preceding stages as proper courtship stages, then it could be interpreted that the signs offered by the male in the second stage would be a courtship sufficient condition, which is not fair. And that's exactly the problem in our hasty society; the women are subjected to too explicit messages of initiation courtship trying, which has become unpleasant for many. The lack of response or of enthusiasm to the second stage is a sign that the woman does not accept courtship. Thus she should not be pressed with more explicit messages of acceptance. So, if the man starts the courtship through the stage 2, that doesn't mean he institutes it until the woman responds positively.

A sexual relationship based on fear and threats can be made only on short term. But in the long run, such a thing goes nowhere. That is why the human culture has returned to these courtship stages from the animal world. As the male animal does, the human male waits for the woman's final acceptance to complete the long-term affection, engagement or marriage relationship. The leap over these stages assimilated by the traditional culture involves risks that everyone calculates according to its own interests.

The first pre-courtship stage is mistaken with the last one by both men (Casanova) and some feminist women. Ignoring the good manners code in the matter of courtship, as well as the contemporary social emancipation that gradually excluded the corporal punishment, made some men violate both the pre-courtship general rules and stages as well as the good manners already stated, applicable within the couple. The mammal female availability for mating, communicated through the olfactory, auditory or visual messages, does not mean that she mates with any male. The exception is the endangered species, with few individuals, where the new generations must be conceived at any cost. But the humanity is not in this situation. The sexuality biological role is that of selecting the best individual to perpetuate their genes and to mate. The availability of mating comes with it a male hierarchy. In mammals, such a hierarchy is created by fighting between males. These are constant in large populations’ species. In small populations ones, possibly endangered, such as tiger or spotted leopard (Clouded leopard) the meeting between individuals are so rare that there is no time for fighting. In humans, fights can become dangerous, so hierarchy has other rules.

In humans there is the same pattern of mating as that existing in mammals. The presence of a beautiful woman on the street does not mean that she has given her consent for the courtship, to form a relationship, according to the above stage 5. The Casanova men believe that the female role is eminently passive, behaves like soldiers who besieged and conquered a city, and rapes its women without giving them the right to decide. From this point of view, the feminism is right when it resembles this type of emotional predator with rapists, although, I showed here the attempt initiating the courtship is not a rape.

If the Casanova-type male mentality exaggerates the role of the male in the act of mating, the radical feminist mentality is at the opposite pole, as extremist as the misogynistic. This one exaggerates the female / woman role in the dynamics of mating. The exclusive female courtship initiation theory falls into the opposite extreme. This is not the case in the animal world. The herbivore male mating season does not depend on the female sent, sound and visual calls. Both sexes enter the mating season depending on the earth seasons and the vegetation abundance cycles, which basically means food abundance. The female does not accept the male for mating only during a certain period, "when she feels like". The female olfactory signals became clear clues later that the male must follow that particular individual. But he is sexually active before the female signals and constantly tries to see what female is receptive, as shown in the following video:



The refusal from some of them proves that they are not ready and the male is. Same is the case in humans, often.

At the sea lion the mating takes place on a certain shore, where the males arrive a few weeks before the females. The logic of such behavior lies in the difference in body mass between males and females. As much bigger, they can crush them in the struggles for territory and domination that they initiate between them, before they come.

It could be interpreted that the first pre-courtship stage would be the same as the exclusive female courtship initiation, and then there would be no debate on this issue because both variants would be one and the same. But between the two variants there are radical differences. The first pre-courtship stage is really decided by the woman / female by her very presence and the potential availability for mating. But at this point, her role is mainly passive with regard to the outside. She is only active inwardly, in her own person, in the way she looks and communicates. She shows availability signals to the entire spectrum of potential partners. In no case can be claimed that she would be active in creating a couple with all the potential males she attracts and with whom she communicates the availability to mate. Only after they display their qualities and interest according to the second and fourth pre-courtship stage she choose, and her role becomes more active. But still it is not very active, as radical feminism argues with the theory of exclusive female courtship initiation. This theory gives from the first place a very active role for the woman in the dynamics of courtship. The courtship initiation is an explicit sign that she gives to a person from whom it appears that she is interested in forming a loving couple relationshp.

There is no animal species numerically comparable to human species, or in the top of the food chain, that the female would exclusively initiate the mating. This happens only partially in the cases of the endangered species, with very few individuals. For example, in the case of tigers or snow leopards in certain areas of the planet, the female clearly signals the availability of mating. When she is available to have cubs she is actually looking for a male. In addition to olfactory signals, it also emits sound signals. The male responds to his advances, and after take place the courtship then the final mating.

The mating behavior in the animal world is not initiated solely by the female, but only encouraged by her. The approaching is also done by the male, according to the above stages. The female only leaves signals so that they become perceptible to the male. After launching them, she stays in the area and waits. As I mentioned, these signals do not necessarily mean that the male would have her consent. If another male appears in the area, then there will be a fight between them to establish a hierarchy, and the winner has a chance of mating. In other species, the female chooses the male that she finds suitable or has better qualities.

However, the mating behavior in which the female is very active in the mating behavior that produces babies is one of crisis. It only makes sense when the species is threatened with extinction, and males are rarely found. The need for fast mating and optimal birth, without the related selections that the males make between them, is explained by the species main interest for the breeding done under any conditions. Both in the wild and in the human civilization, males/men are the ones who struggle to enter into the grace of females. Even in the species where females are much stronger than the males, they are the ones who initiate close pairing. This is the case in hyenas, some spiders or the mantis. There are species where mating rituals confirm the consent of both couple members for sexual intercourse. But there are also species where the only ritual is the struggle between males to establish superiority and physical efficiency. The female has a somewhat more passive role in this case, but not absolutely passive; if it is not at the right time, she can reject the male's advances, even if he has is alpha *.

From these pre-courtship rules we observe that the couple's relationship is usually created with small steps both in the animal and in the human civilization. The signs that the potential partners make in advancing the courtship should be subtle, so that elegant refusal would be possible. So an exclusively female courtship initiation, as feminism proposes, may not lead to a healthy relationship if the couple does not go through these stages. In front of a woman who is offered, the man most often accepts an unconditional response to the female availability, according to the mammals’ typical male sexuality. But that does not mean that the love relationship will be successful in the long run. The lack of attention of the man towards the woman whole personality can make him leave this relationship sooner or later. This can bring unpleasant consequences for the woman who gave herself too easily, without testing the man's willingness to love her for a (longer) time. Such initiation can have beneficial outcomes for disguised prostitutes , lesbians, or histrionic women . The first ones do not want a long-term relationship, but only a stagnation until an even richer man appears on the horizon. The same happens for the histrionic women. The lesbians do not want to be bothered at all. Thus, the exclusive female courtship initiation is well suited for these types of women but it can be disastrous for heterosexual common women, who want a long-term couple relationship. I will write about these things in more detail in the following article .



* An exception to this rule is that of the Tazmanian devils, where the male often abducts the female (usually in a fight), and rapes her continuously for several days. But this exception does not change the rules of sexual behavior for the rest of species.

Gabriel Baldovin

4.5. The exclusively female courtship initiative as a general rule in society does not reduce crime

4.5. The exclusively female courtship initiative as a general rule in society does not reduce crime

sociologie Baldovin   11:39

4. The feminist proposal of exclusively female courtship initiation

4.5. The exclusively female courtship initiative as a general rule in society does not reduce crime 

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In the previous article I showed that the problem of sexual crimes can be solved through actions and preventive institutions, and not through the subsequent repression institutions after the crime was committed. These are favorable to the higher social status criminals than solving the problem from the root. I have shown in this article why the peaceful courtship initiation cannot be legally incriminated according to a minimum coherence of legal arguments. In this article I will argue in favor of the socio-political inefficiency of this possible rule, as well as of the punishment tightening for sexual crimes. Next I will present 7 arguments in this regard.


A. Such a legislative regulation of the exclusive female courtship initiation would not change much in the behavior of the social group that practices the sexual crimes. I showed here that the urban rapists do not start their crime against victims through proposals to accept sexual relations. Then, the sadistic killers are even more cautious. The only crime that could be stopped by the exclusive female courtship initiation revolution is the street sexual harassment. But for street harassers, the current legislation is quite clear. If they did not break it, then these crimes would no longer occur. They break it out assuming addition power to what is commonly allowed. A harasser or a rapist knows that what he is doing is morally wrong, or violates the law. Both the community unwritten rules that he comes from and the law (if known) show that sexual harassment and rape are not accepted. And yet the criminal commits them out of the idea of compensating certain rights that he thinks is entitled to and the society refuses. His abusive intention comes from the idea that he is above the laws, just as unfortunately those at the social pyramid top seem to be.

No change would come out of the fact that a new social norm is imposed on those predisposed to sexual harassment and rape. Such a solution would only work at the ideal, abstract level. It is based on a too justiceist, repressive mentality. Strengthening the punishment and multiplying the laws that limit criminal behavior do not reduce crime. The social repression of criminals has its limits in terms of efficiency. In the marginal communities it will be ignored by sex offenders and emotional abusers, as they ignore existing legislation on these crimes. This new norm will be perceived by these antisocials as another measure of social discrimination against the social privileged ones who have access to polygamy, while they do not.


B. The legislative incrimination of the peaceful courtship initiation could only work efficiently by strengthening the police state. The lack of clear criteria for incrimination, the subjectivism of the conviction would give the law enforcement agents free ways to other abuses and this would get close to dictatorship. Sliding the social system into the police state when the police forces become too large and unregulated brings far bigger abuses than the sex crimes. As seen in sociology, such a measure would move the abuses out from the ordinary street criminals into the "law enforcement". Those who work in these institutions are the same marginal criminals, but institutionalized. They get to be artificially schooled, dressed in uniform and transformed into "soldiers with honor". The danger to women arising from the official organization of these criminals is far greater than their individual crimes committed from the standpoint of isolated individuals.

The institutionally organized intrusion of dictatorial systems into the woman's body is a far more abusive action than the isolated crimes made by the social marginal ones. The abortion prohibition and the lack of contraceptive methods were state global measures for the purpose of the artificial growth of the population and global economic profit. The larger the population, the more the fold effect occurs. The individual personal liberties are restricted to make room for the others liberties that live in this restricted space. This policy promoted by the communist dictatorial systems had tragic results. The prohibition of the pregnancy termination practices made by specialized physicians has brought many women to go for the improvised abortions, without specialized assistance. Many didn’t make it. In the over-populated countries of the Far East, the situation went to the opposite extreme. There, the women were forbidden to give birth to more than one child, or other such oppressive policies. This is why these state intrusions into the woman's body are far more brutal than those of the harassing or raping marginal ones.


C. Fortunately, the problem of street harassment in these areas is solved by itself with the confident use of the tools available today. The dubious urban spaces avoidance or the short, provocative clothing around them is a universal solution. It is successfully used by the cautious women. I know that some feminists reject this idea, preferring to support the libertine clothing theory. I myself support it in specific areas of the educated people, as I have shown here. But to implement artificial over-education applied to potential abusers in disadvantaged social areas, is not functional. They propose external or cultural inhibitions supplemented to men with already disadvantaged social status in these areas anyway, in order to increase their own exhibitionist liberties. I do not support this because of the liberties discrepancy on the social scale by the two social categories.

Such precautionary measures are not discriminatory, as they suggest. These dangerous areas are also avoided by men, because of the burglary risk they are as well exposed to. The women born or trained in these areas have become accustomed to it and may control it through the relationship with a respected partner who sets his sight on the potential abusers. The street harassment is a problem, among many others in these areas, where no one is safe anyway. The criminals "educating" in these areas to force them stop committing such crimes is almost impossible. But in decent urban spaces it can also be effectively controlled by the current legislation, without incriminating the peaceful courtship approaching. And for this reason, it is still a much smaller problem out there. There are vehement activists that support the courtship female initiation revolution even if they were born in these areas. Subsequently, they ascended the social hierarchy (feminist militancy cannot be exercised in these areas out of the dangers) and relive anxiously the experiences they had during that period. However, there is a clear differentiation between the crimes committed there and the courtship initiation practiced by men from higher social spaces.


D. The more anachronistic a society becomes, and the bigger poverty, the more criminal behaviors appear. Somebody does crimes in virtue of adapting to the environment. In poor countries, the gangsters become role models for others. So such a "chosen one" may sell her as well as a professional pimp. In these geographical areas the risks of meeting such a man are high. Also, the young girls’ education through the media towards disguised prostitution makes them vulnerable to the crimes committed by the sadists who come from all over the world especially to meet this kind of women. Here, the eventual prohibition of approaching a woman on the street by an unknown man, and the general implementation of the exclusive female courtship initiation revolution, would not have much of the beneficial effects. In this situation, the argument from point A. is best applied and the proposal to prohibit this behavior through legislative norms would remain unheard in such a social environment. In such a society where the mafia applies the law of the jungle beautifully packed in the rule of law colors, such a regulation would not work. If the policymakers have decided to uproot the citizens, drowning them in poverty, they are unlikely to grant the women rights, and to punish such crimes.


E. However, the biggest problem of this exclusive female courtship initiation proposal is that it is not effective for its original purpose that was created for. The disadvantaged social spaces women find different ways to deal with these crimes. On the contrary, the exclusive female courtship initiation revolution would not manage to control precisely the implicit intranstitutional sexual harassment of which I analyzed in this article. In many of these cases, it is the woman herself who proposes the fair trade for favors, or against the professional persecution or other she is subjected to. So, the peaceful approach of a woman by an unknown man prohibition proposed by feminism is totally ineffective in this type of sexual harassment case, widely committed both nowadays and in the past.


F. On the other hand, the fact that the women would exclusively initiate the emotional closeness in the couple, however, would not exclude the abusive men. The monogamous women would risk encountering an undeclared polygamous man, an emotional scammer, a hidden pimp, or even a minor sadist is not excluded from this possible revolution. They will accept the relationship knowing that it is parallel or temporary in the same way as described here.


G. And, last but not least, the exclusive female courtship proposal initiation does not exclude the emotional abuses committed by some women themselves. This proposal also comes from the wrong premise of a part of the sexist feminism that came after the 1990s, that the women could not possibly be emotionally abusive towards men. According to it, if the women would exclusively initiate the emotional approach in a couple, then these abuses would not exist anymore. It is true that the percentage of male sex offenders is higher than that of women; it is known that women generally do not rape, and sexual harassment is practiced to a much greater extent by men. Indeed, from this point of view, such a measure would reduce the number of physical abuses. So, by introducing new legislative regulations on stopping the men's courtship initiation and / or setting up new institutions to prevent this phenomenon, might work to reduce the number of street sexual harassment cases. However, this still could not eliminate the natural consent emotional abuses committed by both men and women. In this case the relationship between abusive men and abusive women is quite similar, as I pointed out in the article I have already linked above. So this alleged universal moral purity of women in relationships with men regarding the abuses is not just justified on this criterion.

A counterargument for maintaining this measure, however, despite the fact that it may promote the emotional abuse committed by women, is the alleged political correctness of granting women compensatory rights. Such a measure is totally justified. Women are at increased risk of being sexual crimes victims, and also they face traditional gender disadvantages. Therefore, women should be over-advantaged to balance these disadvantages. So far, the argument is justifiable. I believe that these compensatory rights must consist in granting various other facilities to mitigate gender disadvantages or eliminate sexual crimes, as I have shown here. I mentioned in it about the obligation that every employer or the state should have to ensure the women transportation through a big taxi company that works during the night (the taxi driver also having a bodyguard role). Another measure for over-advancement due to political correctness may be, for example, the granting of gratuity for products needed for differentiated body hygiene or for child taking care.

But these over-advantages should not consist in granting power to abuse others, as some of the male courtship initiation incriminating supporters wish. They want to open the way for exhibitionism in culturally unprepared spaces for such a thing. If the sexual harassers cannot be excused by previously being victims of society higher-level abuse, then the same can be applied to abusive women by virtue of judging the fact with same standards. On the contrary, the exhibitionist women, whom I described in the article linked above, were not too militant to include in their activism these mentioned above rights. They did not bother to seek practical solutions, and that is a question about their honesty regarding the feminist movement itself. I did not see in their videos or in their protests such really important demands for women. They want to seduce and turn some weak men mad, to see the erotic suffering in the face of their victims and that’s it, according to their psychopathological structure. Their militancy hides this dubious interest in being protected in committing emotional abuse against the weak. This is not a right, but a free path to anachronistic and unprotected society, of which the weak ones will eventually suffer from. And these people are all women themselves and the wide disadvantaged categories.

With their skills, they attract the moderate feminists in this rhetoric, which is a trap for the feminist movement. So, instead of losing the energy with false police state solutions, the feminism should focus on creating institutions to prevent and combat this type of sexual harassment. In the following article I will bring other counter-arguments to this feminist proposal, which reveals to the way in which some of the women themselves relate to it.

Gabriel Baldovin